I’ve never really been a person who enjoys change. In the moment, I always seem to be cool with it, but later on, when I’m alone and can hear my own thoughts I start to freak out. I really wanted to share my thoughts and what I’ve learned in response to change. Now I’m not talking about changing your clothes or changing your car or anything small like that, I’m talking big-time changes in your life! Whether that’s moving to another state, moving across the country, moving into a new home, changing your career path, etc. There are so many different seasons of change that we can go through and I think that ultimately what we as humans should do when these huge life-altering things happen is to sit, to live in the moment, to be patient, and to find joy in what is happening.
I’ve been through various life-changes over the past 10 years. I’ve graduated high school and moved to a school five hours away from home, I’ve switched jobs, and I’ve moved to another state. I’ve done things that were challenging for me because they were completely outside of my comfort zone. You might have read a post I wrote when we first started our blog called “Bring on the new.” In this post, I talk about my recent thoughts on the new year of 2017. I mention a little bit about moving to a new state and how I felt about it, but I did not go into detail about how I reacted. To some that might sound petty, moving to another state? Yeah, I know it sounds dumb. But it has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through.
No one in my family ever really knew what I truly felt during this season of change. I tried my best to hide my honest feelings about it because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. But once we finally settled into our new home and things weren’t as chaotic anymore, I started to feel this sense of “I don’t belong.” Moving from California to Texas was a drastic change for me. I lived in a small ‘everyone knows everyone’ town, and now I’m living in this huge metropolitan city. This was extremely out of my comfort zone and at times I felt lost and felt it difficult to try and live. I didn’t know how to drive on the huge freeways or where the stores were, I didn’t even know where my school was, it was tough. The first few months I was like “whoa, this is so different!” I had to learn to adjust and I hate adjusting.
Adjusting to a situation comes with being okay with the situation. I had to get to a place of contentment, of complete “okay so I live in Houston now, I gotta get myself together and be responsible and live” it was hard to just do that when my mind was telling me I hated being here.
One of the biggest reasons moving was so hard for me was because I was leaving my extended family. Family has always been everything. Especially when you have family like mine. We are all so close and we have a tight bond that started when we were all just little kids. We grew up living so close to each other; birthday parties or celebrations every weekend, it was the sweetest time. That isn’t a privilege a lot of people have. But I was fortunate to be able to spend a lot of time with my cousins during my youth, and it truly was the best. I miss my family every single day.
Another big reason I had a hard time moving was that I was leaving the University I loved. I had just finished my second year there and I had formed wonderful relationships with some of the best girls one could find. They are my best friends and friends I know will last a lifetime. I wanted to continue to go to school with them and live with them. The Lord had other plans, I just needed to trust.
What I’ve learned from all of this is to be still. To allow time to grow in this new life. To be OKAY with the process and find joy in it. It’s so beautiful when you allow the time to heal your anxiousness because then you stop worrying about the trivial things and you are able to finally just enjoy the new. That was the biggest adjustment I had to make. I distracted myself with my family that was here, I searched for a job, I started at a new school and tried my best to fit in and make friends. I started to lead worship at a megachurch, which is something I never thought I would do and everything just began to fall into place because I stopped trippin’ about the fact that I moved to another state and I just sat back and chilled in the process.
This journey has been amazing. Life in Houston has turned into a great life, great opportunities, and great people. I am so thankful for this new path the Lord has chosen for me. He’s taught me so much about myself and how my reactions towards drastic changes need to be reactions of peace, stillness, and hope. To learn while I’m in the process and to allow Him to guide my steps. It’s a beautiful thing to be a part of not being in control all the time. I love being flexible and going with the flow. It’s given me this “ahhhh” feeling. I look to the future, excited for what’s to come. Of course, I will be responsible and keep up with all the “life things.” Let’s just enjoy each day as it comes and savor the moments that can be precious memories.